Barney's Blog

All hail The King

Evening all, Barney McGrew here again - The King of Denton Hall.

Well, I've spent the day watching the racing in between keeping an eye on this Coronation malarkey. My ears pricked up when I heard the new King and Queen would be travelling in a carriage with 24 carrots in the gold. What a bloody waste of good carrots!

Anyway, it's a day of history and I wish King Charles III and Queen Camilla a long and happy reign. That said, it's all a bit bonkers, isn't it? I mean, it boils down to a bloke having a crown plonked on his head that's heavier than some of the jockeys I've had on my back. Meanwhile, the country goes crackers with people dressing up in silly hats and drinking a lot. You're a bloody strange breed, you humans - that's all I can say.

Funnily enough, I was talking to an old friend of mine from my yearling days back in Ireland. He was never fast enough to be a racehorse but he landed a job with the Household Cavalry's mounted section.He was telling me that in the run up to the Coronation, King Charles was showing Ther First Lady of the United States, Jill Biden, round the stables. My mate's always been a bit windy and he broke wind very loudly.

"I'm terribly sorry about that," said the King.

"Ah, don't worry, Charlie," replied Mrs Biden in her American drawl. "I thought it was the horse."

CHARLES has had to wait a long time to be King, so patience is definitely a virtue. That's what I kept telling The Gaffer when we were having a slow start to the season,

“It's a marathon, not a sprint,” I told him. “Don’t fret if they take a bit of time to come to themselves.”

Lo and behold, he’s kept his nerve and the winners have been flowing this week – Purple Ice at Newcastle, Destined at Redcar, and Havagomecca at Musselburgh during the week, then today we've had a bloody hat-trick at three different courses with Azure Blue at Newmarket, Northern Express at Thirsk, and Woven at Donny.

“You were right, Barney,” The Gaffer admitted.

“I’m always right, Gaffer, so make sure I get extra carrots,” I replied.

Oh, and wasn't Azure Blue impressive today. If you look back to my blog last December, when I handed out The Barney Awards, this is what I said: 'TIP FOR THE TOP: Azure Blue – or Bluey as I like to call her. She’s had a cracking season, with four wins, culminating with a listed victory at Newmarket. Her owners, Peter Appleton and Anne Elliott, are really canny humans, who also had my old friend Que Amoro. I just have a feeling Bluey's really going to go places next season. You heard it here first!'

Now, she's won her first race of the season - a listed contest down at Newmarket - in great style under that nice Paul Mulrennan human who described her as 'the real deal'. I couldn't agree more - I honestly reckon we've got another star on our hands.

AND what about Northern Express winning the historic Vickers.Bet Thirsk Hunt Cup, with the Callum Rodriguez human in the plate. I've always got on well with Northy - as I like to call him - and it's a nice race to win. We last won it with a pal of mine called Finn Class back in 2016 when Tom Eaves was riding, and we won it with Osteopathic Remedy in 2010 with PJ McDonald doing the steering. Happy days!

(I'm writing this before racing at Doncaster tonight, so the winner's tally may go up further)

THE young horses often come to me for advice and Destined – or Desty as I like to call her – came over to me in my field before she ran at Redcar on Thursday.

“Hey, Barney, I feel pretty fit but how the hell am I going to win from stall 15 when being on the far rail at Redcar has become such an advantage?”

“Look, Desty,” I said. “You’ve got to really concentrate, ping the stalls, and give yourself a bit of space to move across.”

Well, that’s exactly what she did and she won like a good ‘un with the canny Connor human in the saddle.

If anyone else – humans or equine – needs advice on any subject under the sun, you know where I am.

I HAVE to say, I was chuffed to see Havagomecca go in at Musselburgh yesterday. It always brings back nice memories to see the red and white hoops of the David Metcalfe human passing the post first.

They were, of course, the colours made famous by my old mucker, Mecca’s Angel, who was one of the fastest sprinters we’ve ever seen. God, I miss having her round.

To be blunt, David lacks a bit of imagination, so he puts ‘Mecca’ in the names of all his horses. To give him a hand, I’ve come up with a few ideas for the next time The Gaffer talks him into having a yearling: Mecca Cuppa Tea, Mecca My Day, Mecca Difference, or Mecca Wish. There you go, David – all you've got to do is Mecca decision.

SO, back to the Coronation? Do you know why King Charles was in such a rush to get to the swimming pool? He didn't want to miss the chlorination!

And did you hear about the King who was too shy to be crowned? He was a coronation chicken.

God, I'm bloody funny. You can call me The King of Comedy.

That’s all from me for another week, folks. If King Charles is reading this - send a couple of horses to The Gaffer at Denton Hall, Your Majesty. And bring a bag of your special carrots.