Barney's Blog

On a long reign...

EVENING all, Barney McGrew - equine royalty - here.

On the subject of royalty, The Queen human's Platinum Jubilee celebrations are coming up next weekend and I wanted to send Her Majesty my very best wishes.

We have a lot in common, me and Elizabeth II.

1. She's The Queen of England and I'm The King of Denton Hall.

2. We both love horses - she was given her first horse, a Shetland pony named Peggy, when she was just four, and was riding by the age of six.

3. We're both getting a bit long in the tooth but plodding on gamely.

4. We share a taste for Polo - but for her it's a posh game played by people with long sticks on horseback, and for me it's a mint with a hole in it.

5. We both love carrots.

I read the other day that there are 20 carrots in The Queen's gold crown. I think this must be so that when she visits her racehorses, she has a carrot nice and handy on top of her head to give them a treat. Mind you, I don't think she's very well educated because she can't spell carrot - she spells it carat. Bit embarrassing really, especially when you've gone to private school.

Anyway, you'll be pleased to know, my Carole treated me to a nice Jubilee picnic this week. Cakes, scones, and packets of Polos. Very thoughtful, I must say. She also had me wearing the red, white and blue and a special crown. I love photoshoots - I'm a natural, aren't I? I'll send the pictures to The Queen so she can see how it's done when the paparazzi are around.

I BET The Queen wishes she owned me but, to be fair, she's had some good 'uns over the years. She's won every classic, apart from the Derby at Epsom. The closest she ever got was with Aureole in 1953, the year of her coronation. She also had a game filly called Dunfermline who won The Oaks and St. Leger in her Silver Jubilee Year 1977.  Willie Carson rode her - a human with a very strange laugh. More of a cackle.

One thing I've never understood is why she's called Her Royal Highness by all the other peasant humans. I mean, she's quite low to the ground really.

That said, 70 years of having to sit in a big gold chair, and shake hands with people she doesn't even know, is pretty good going. And it must have cost a fortune heating that big house of hers for so long.

Another five years or so and it'll be my Silver Jubilee. I suppose that'll be another excuse for the humans to take an extra Bank Holiday - lazy buggers.

In the meantime, I sincerely hope The Queen enjoys her Jubilee celebrations. She's attracted a lot of tourists in her time and put a lot into racing. Her one big mistake was not having a horse in training at Denton Hall, although there's still time for her to have a word with The Gaffer. If she can't afford one of her own, we've got the Denton Hall Racing syndicate and the Dods Racing Club, which are both very good value.

I know you'll be reading this, Ma'am, so all the very best from us all at Denton Hall. Pop up and see us sometime - we're up near a place called Darlington which is on the way to Balmoral. Bring carats. Sorry, I mean carrots. And fetch some Polos while you're at it. You can get 'em from that place you own - the Royal Mint.

WHILE we're on matters of state, I've had the National Anthem re-written. It now goes like this:

God save our gracious King,
Long live our noble King,
Bar-ney McGrew!
Send him big bags of gifts,
Carrots and Polo mints,
Long to neigh over us,
God save the King!

BET you didn't know I could sing, did ya? Hope Whistling Steve heard it, so he knows what it means to be in tune! To be honest, my singing voice didn't develop until I was a two-year-old. Before that I was a little hoarse! 

STICKING with the royal theme, I notice that my mate Dulla Bhatti is entered in the Queen's Platinum Jubilee Handicap at Ayr on May 30. Do ya think it's a condition of the race that the horses have to be on a long reign? Geddit? God, I'm funny - and I'm not finished yet.

APPARENTLY, the Kenny Williams human met The Queen many years ago when he was riding for a human called Bill Watts, who trained at Richmond, in North Yorkshire.

The Queen was visiting the yard to see a famous old horse called Teleprompter, who won The Arlington Million in America. As Her Majesty walked past, the big bay gelding broke wind very loudly.

"I'm terribly sorry about that, Ma'am," said Kenny, tipping his cap.

"You mustn't worry about it, young man," replied The Queen. "I thought it was the horse!"

BEFORE I go, a quick well done to my mate Langholm - or Langy as I like to call him - on his game win at Catterick this afternoon. That's two wins for the season and six in all. Nice to see the smiling faces of the members of the Dods Racing Club in the winner's enclosure again. If you fancy joining the fun, you can find out more at: www.michaeldodsracing.co.uk/dods-racing-club/

In the meantime, don't forget to get into the Jubilee spirit and show The Queen lots of love. I'm off to give Langy one of my scones - but he's not getting any Polos!