Barney's Blog

The blue sky's the limit!

Well, well, well, what did I tell you about my lovely friend, Azure Blue, then?

Haven’t I been telling you for a year or so that she’s top drawer? The way she won that Group 2 race at York on Wednesday, I reckon we’ve got another Group 1 superstar on our hands to follow in the hoof prints of Mecca’s Angel and Mabs Cross.

The Gaffer hasn’t decided where she runs next but the world’s her oyster. She’s always told me she likes the ground a bit soft, so I’ve told The Gaffer to aim her at the Prix de l’Abbaye over in France, where the humans talk funny. We won it with Mabsy in 2018 and I reckon Bluey will take all the beating too.

Vous l’avez entendu ici la premiere fois. That means ‘you heard it here first’ in French. Mange tout.

Oh, and what a week for those nice humans Peter and Anne, who own Azure Blue. They had another winner on Friday night with Arkenstaar - or Arky, as I like to call him. Some people are just born lucky, aren't they? Jammy buggers!

We’ve had a few other winners since I wrote my last blog, so well done also to Arch Moon, Tatterstall, Fifty Sent and my old mate Stallone.

I noticed a comment on Facebook from a human called Dominic Bardsley the other day, saying: “The horses are running so well, there are rumours of Barney making a comeback.”

Now look here, Dommy, I could still give you three furlongs start and whip your arse, so less of your lip - and bring carrots.

In other news, we had a visit from something called the South Durham U3A the other day.

When I first heard The Gaffer and my Carole talking about the U3A, I thought it was a firm offering free hay, but it turns out that it stands for 'University of the Third Age'.

I looked it up on the internet (cos I’ve got stable wi-fi) and, apparently, it’s a group that enables retired people to expand their minds.

Well, if that’s the case, why didn’t they come and see me? Then they might have learned something.

Talking of expanding minds...as you know, I do my best to educate you dumb humans. So, here’s this week’s ‘Did you know?’ section.

Did you know that the word ‘filly’ comes from the Norse word fylja, meaning female foal?

And did you know the word ‘stallion’ is derived from ‘stall’ because under ancient laws, horses kept for breeding had to be kept in stalls rather than be allowed to wander round the fields. Fascinating eh?

Humans can have a cruel sense of humour, don’t you think?

I was chatting to one of the young ‘uns who just been gelded.

“Aye, I remember it well,” I sympathised.

“I’m sure you do, Barney,” he replied. “But what makes it harder is when they send you straight back to the racecourse and the commentator shouts ‘And they’re off!’”

He has a point. Ouch!

Finally, we had an old fella wandering round the yard the other day – he was maybe one of those U3 Hay people – and he went over for a chat with the Kenny Williams human before bursting into tears.

“What’s up, mate – can I help?” Kenny asked, gently.

“It’s just that I’ve married this gorgeous young girl who makes me a full English breakfast in bed every morning and brings it upstairs stark naked,” the bloke whimpered.

“Well, that sounds alright, doesn’t it?” Kenny replied, with clear envy in his eyes.

“Then she fetches the paper, helps me pick my horses, and pops down the bookies, wearing nothing but a fur coat, to put my bets on for me,” he added.

“Well, that’s nice of her, isn’t it? asked, Kenny, soothingly.

“Then she comes home, puts on her best lingerie, gives me a massage, and makes mad passionate love in every position you can think of,” he added.

“Well, what the hell’s wrong with that?” enquired an increasingly flustered Kenny.

“I can’t remember where I live!” sobbed the old fella.

That’s all for now, folks. Lots of love - bring carrots.

(Picture - Azure Blue winning at York under that nice Paul Mulrennan human)